Wednesday
6/07/04
A Little Social Policy Shift, Please.
It’s always seemed to me that a good way to consider legislating social policy is to treat it as you would a lifestyle choice and assume that moderation is the key. It would, for instance, be a shame to never have a cigar after dinner, but at the same time having three or four is probably a bad idea. Likewise, when considering whether or not to legislate social policy we want to make sure that we don’t end up in a restrictive Marxist cleptocracy, but neither do we want to create a freewheeling corporate/libertarian cleptocracy. Moderation, please.
That said, I have what I believe is a modest and well-considered proposal for legislating a bit of social change. I believe, in short, that it should be illegal for famous people to marry each other. Or anyone for that matter… like J.Lo and Marc Anthony joining in wedded bliss this weekend. A week after he divorced his Miss Universe wife? And after we had to look at Ben Afleck’s big goofy face for a year? I say it’s time to end the horror for once and all.
Ah, but I hear the cries of protest already:
I can only hope. No, not really, but jeez. Honestly, what the hell is J.Lo thinking? Does she really believe that love is more magical and special the third or fourth time around? Does she not see that becoming Liz Taylor is a very sad thing indeed? Did she learn nothing from the short-lived union of Lee Majors and Farrah Fawcett?
If nothing else you can look at anti-famous-people-getting-married legislation as a humane way of stopping them from embarrassing themselves and others. Sort of like making it illegal for drunks to pee on the sidewalk.
Yes! That’s it! Consider such legislation a quality of life law! Write your congressman today! You’ll all thank me later. Really.
|
A Little Social Policy Shift, Please.
It’s always seemed to me that a good way to consider legislating social policy is to treat it as you would a lifestyle choice and assume that moderation is the key. It would, for instance, be a shame to never have a cigar after dinner, but at the same time having three or four is probably a bad idea. Likewise, when considering whether or not to legislate social policy we want to make sure that we don’t end up in a restrictive Marxist cleptocracy, but neither do we want to create a freewheeling corporate/libertarian cleptocracy. Moderation, please.
That said, I have what I believe is a modest and well-considered proposal for legislating a bit of social change. I believe, in short, that it should be illegal for famous people to marry each other. Or anyone for that matter… like J.Lo and Marc Anthony joining in wedded bliss this weekend. A week after he divorced his Miss Universe wife? And after we had to look at Ben Afleck’s big goofy face for a year? I say it’s time to end the horror for once and all.
Ah, but I hear the cries of protest already:
That’s a terrible idea, Evan! If big, stupid stars couldn’t marry each other then how could they divorce each other? What would the E! network show all day? What would happen to the supermarket tabloids? An entire industry would collapse overnight! Thousands out of work! Children will go hungry… chaos in the streets… our way of life will be destroyed!
I can only hope. No, not really, but jeez. Honestly, what the hell is J.Lo thinking? Does she really believe that love is more magical and special the third or fourth time around? Does she not see that becoming Liz Taylor is a very sad thing indeed? Did she learn nothing from the short-lived union of Lee Majors and Farrah Fawcett?
If nothing else you can look at anti-famous-people-getting-married legislation as a humane way of stopping them from embarrassing themselves and others. Sort of like making it illegal for drunks to pee on the sidewalk.
Yes! That’s it! Consider such legislation a quality of life law! Write your congressman today! You’ll all thank me later. Really.
